The Winner of the Bump in the Night Brawl Is...

So, I'll bet you're all here to find out who won the Bump in the Night Brawl and to see what I'm giving away.  Well, I'm going to tease you a little bit.  To find out, you're going to have to click on the jump break link below.  Mwa ha ha ha ha!

Bump in the Night Brawl: Let the Voting Begin!

It's time, my ghouls and ghosties.  The campaigning is over and final words have been said.  There has been heated competition all week for the title of Ultimate Bump in the Night Brawler, but only you all get to decide who that will be.  If you've missed out on any of the campaign posts this week, please observe the following list of links:

Ghosts w/ me (Marla)

Zombies w/ Kyla

Witches w/ Nikki

Vampires w/ Louise

Werewolves w/ DJL

Demons w/ Christy

All caught up?  Good, because now is the time to make your voices heard.  Who among these 6 deserves to be known as the scariest of the scary, the most spine-tingling, the ultimate thing that goes bump in the night?  Let the Brawl begin!

THE POLL IS CLOSED!  Stay tuned.  At 12 PM CST the winner will be announced and the giveaway will go live!  See you then!

Bump in the Night Brawl #6: Demons

Welcome, one and all, to the last Bump in the Night Brawl post!  It's been a fun-filled week at Starting the Next Chapter and I can't thank all of my guest posters enough for writing such awesome posts for this event.  Also, thank you to all of those who visited throughout the week.  I'm just starting out with things like this, so I definitely appreciate your visits and comments.

It's Demonic Saturday, so Christy from The Reader Bee is here to tell us why demons are the baddest thing to go bump in the night.  Remember, voting starts at midnight and ends at 11:59 PM CST on Sunday night.  Be sure to get your votes in, because those votes determine what kind of book 1 lucky giveaway winner will have the chance to grab.  I hope to see you all on Sunday for the vote, and then again on Monday, October 31 to find out the winner of the Bump in the Night Brawl!

Hello, friends! Christy from The Reader Bee here to tell you why I think DEMONS are the Ultimate creatures that spook, fright and go bump in the night!

Let’s start off with a little information on Demons: Demons have the ultimate superpowers. They can possess and seduce. They are telepathic and psychokinetic. They have the ability to do witchcraft, and can also control the elements. They can hurt you, make you do their bidding, and annihilate anything and everything they want. Does this sound like a creature whose path you want to cross?? Not me!

Demons make me think of all the scary movies that, to this day, I absolutely refuse to watch. I am SO not a scary movie and book type person. As a child, the men in my life used to watch scary stuff all the time. Sometimes I watched, and most times I wish I hadn’t. When I think of demons, this is the first guy that comes to mind…

Hellraiser scared the hell out of me growing up. Enough said.

(Funny side story- We went to a haunted amusement park recently, and there was a guy there dressed exactly like the photo above. He jumped out at us, and about scared us all to death!) Ahem… moving on…

Pretty darn scary, yes? Definitely a creature I would NOT want to cross paths with.

So, while I am totally not a fan of scary movies that have Demons involved, I surprised myself by liking a few young adult books that have demons as the main character. These are some demons that use their powers for good. I can definitely handle that type of demon. Let’s use Sophie Mercer from the Hex Hall series as an example…

“Dark witches do the bigger things," Chaston offered. "And our powers are a hell of a lot stronger. We can make barrier spells, and if we're really good, control the weather. We're also necromancers if- -" "Whoa!" I held up my hand. "Necromancers? Like, power over dead things?”

Sophie grew up thinking she was a witch. After being sent to Hex Hall, a reform school for delinquents, she discovers a family secret. The secret is that she’s not a witch at all, but a dark witch/half demon instead. Sophie has all the abilities listed above that a demon can possess. The difference is that she uses her powers for the good. But still, you definitely don’t want to get on her bad side!

Sophie is snarky and lovable, she’s the friendliest demon around. (Why aren’t all demons like Sophie!) However, she still has some massive powers, and she’s not afraid to use them. And she proves this when a certain someone crosses her path. (Read the books to find out who!)

How can you not root for her?? Sophie! Sophie! Sophie!

So there you have it ladies and gents… I’ve shown you what demons are capable of, and I’ve given you examples of demons that are the exact opposite. Demons are tricky characters, and can pretty much do it all. That is why I think they are the ultimate creatures that go bump in the night! What about you???

Thanks for wrapping things up for us, Christy!  It's been a blast working with you on this project.

That's all there is, folks.  If you've missed any of the Bump in the Night Brawl posts or even the Creature Feature Reviews, you can find a list of all Bump in the Night Spooktacular links in the right-hand column.  I hope you've enjoyed this event as much as I have.  Remember that voting commences at midnight and the winner will be announced on Monday.

Huge thanks go out to Nikki at Books Most Wanted, a huge support and the first one to jump on the idea and agree to participate; Kyla at Kyla Novelista for being such an enthusiastic and hilarious guest poster, plus the best zombie expert a girl could ask for; Louise at Between the Covers for taking on this project a mere week before the event was to begin and for doing such an awesome job; DJL at Denim-Jacket Librarian Dishes for being one of my biggest blog supporters and an awesome guest poster; Christy from The Reader Bee for digging up repressed memories in order to give us such an awesome post and for being all-around fantastic; and Lindsay at The Violet Hour for letting me bounce ideas off of her when I thought I might be crazy to take on this project.  You all have been a blast to work with and I hope we can work together again in the future!

Bump in the Night Brawl #5: Werewolves

We're getting close to the end, everyone!  Today is the next to last day of the Bump in the Night Brawl campaign posts.  Who has made the biggest impression upon you, so far?  Hold that thought, because I have a new offering for you.  The awesome DJL from Denim Jacket Librarian Dishes is here to have her say on our more lupine peers, werewolves.  Let round 5 begin!

Hellooooooow, my dears!  Welcome to Wolfish Friday, and please pardon my rehearsing for when the moon comes out tonight.  I've been asked by Marla of Starting the Next Chapter to talk about the fierce creatures of Halloween, werewolves.  Swift and powerful with a bite that's far worse than their bark (or roar as the case may be), you can't help but be terrifyingly fascinated by werewolves.  They come in many different forms and sizes from a four-legged wolf to an overly hairy human with a not-so-slight overbite problem to a towering, brutish beast on two legs.  No matter their size or shape, they possess the strength, speed, and cunning of their lupine side along with human intelligence.  And when you combine the two, this can have frightening effects in which you have a hulking predator that stalks the night, stealthily tracking its prey before striking without warning. There is no comparison to that feeling of being watched, being followed... being hunted.

You wonder if something is there with you in the dark but do not know what's really there... until you hear the tell-tale beastly growl or see the flash of sharp white teeth.  Too late and the predator has pounced upon its prey.  And the scariest part?  During the day they look just like you and me.  That is where werewolves have other creatures of Halloween beat.  Vampires, zombies, and ghosts... not really so good at hiding their identities especially when you look at them or through them with the case for ghosts if you can even see them.  Anyone could be a werewolf without others around them being any the wiser.  The fact that they can blend into the crowd is what really makes this beast the baddest of Halloween because unless you know the signs, there's no way for one person to identify a werewolf from another human.  Here are some ways to help you possibly identify if a person is a werewolf:

1.  A person has more hair than they should.  Unless they're able to get a wax job on a regular basis, this will have most werewolves wearing long-sleeved clothes... a lot.  (Do you know how cold it gets in a library?  Long sleeves are a must!)

2.  A person shows an appreciation for rare-cooked meat.  (What?  It's the best way to have steak in Texas!)

3.  A person shows an aversion to silver.  (White gold is really where it's at with jewelry.  Any fashion-conscious person knows that.)

4.  A person likes to take long walks at night usually under a full moon.  (Don't you know that a girl's most favorable lighting is moonlight?)

5.  Dogs tend to get a little antsy and jumpy around a person, usually barking in aggression at first and then whining in submission.  (I happen to love dogs.  I just love them more when they realize who's the alpha... I mean master!)

Just because you have a possible means of identifying them doesn't mean that werewolves can't evade detection over time.  I mean, history is full of tales and legends of the werewolf or lycanthrope, starting with King Lycaon of Greek mythology.  Wanting to trick the mighty Zeus, who had changed himself into a mortal, Lycaon killed one of his prisoners and served his body in a stew before Zeus. This enraged the thunder god and Zeus punished Lycaon by transforming him into a vicious, bloodthirsty wolf.  The Greek word lycanthropos is believed to be the basis for lycanthropy.

   
Haven't heard that myth?  Okay, what about the Beast of Gévaudan, a real-life account of werewolf attacks between 1764 and 1767 within the Margeride mountains of Southern France?  This beast was said to have huge fangs, an enormous tail, red fur that exuded a foul smell and was supposedly the size of a cow.  Within a three-year span, the beast claimed over 100 lives and injured another 50 people.  There's even a loosely-based film recounting these incidents, Le Pacte des Loupes: Brotherhood of the Wolf, that I recommend for entertainment value.

Not close enough to home for you?  All right, one of the most prominent werewolf legends in America is that of the Beast of Bray Road near Elkhorn, Wisconsin.  A huge, wolflike creature walking and running on two legs began appearing in front of startled travelers on the rural Bray Road outside of town in 1991.  So far there have been no attacks from this werewolf-like creature, but should drivers really push their luck in taking this route at night? 

Being from the Lone Star State, we also have our share of werewolf and skinwalker tales.  A legend spoken of in certain areas of the Hill Country tells of an old Native American man who would change his shape in order to evade capture by the cavalrymen stationed nearby.  It was said when he was trapped, he would become a wolf and attack his pursuers which usually ended in death.  A possible tie to this legend is "Cleo Face" as carved by N.Q. Patterson.  A settler of the Hill Country, Patterson was a tombstone carver who suffered from tuberculosis.  Having a lot of time on his hands due to the small community, Patterson began carving into the limestone rocks that lined Bear Creek.  One particularly notorious carving was of a face with a broad nose, glinting eyes, and a snarling mouth with long, fang-like teeth.  You have to wonder what Patterson encountered within the hills to inspire him to carve such a face.

  

Aside from silver and chopping off the head, there is little that can kill a werewolf.  You can run over them, shove them off a cliff, shoot them with regular bullets and they will heal and recover much faster than you can think.  They are truly one of the fiercest of Halloween brawlers.

Vote Werewolves on October 30th because you know Hugh would want you to.

I would like to thank Marla for having me here at Starting the Next Chapter to help enlighten you wonderful readers on the history and traits of werewolves.  Don't worry, Marla, I brought my dust-buster to take care of the loose hair on the blog.  *coughs*  You can't help the shedding.  Happy Hooooowlloween!

 
Thanks for stopping by, DJL!  As usual, you have set forth an awesome combination of opinion and observation.  If you enjoyed DJL's post, show her some love!  Comments are always welcome and there has been an epic Twitter party going on for the past 3 days amongst us competitors.  Remember, we will have the last round tomorrow, when Christy from The Reader Bee will be telling us why demons should be the biggest bad asses in the entire bump in the night world.  Stay tuned!

Bump in the Night Brawl #4: Vampires

Are you ready for the continuation of Vampiric Thursday?  I hope so, because Louise from Between the Covers is here to enlighten us as to the ins and outs of the vampire world.  She has promised to bring it and wipe the floor with all of the other entrants in the Brawl.  Let's all welcome Louise to the Bump in the Night Brawl! 


I’m here at Starting the Next Chapter today as a representative for the vampire race. *smiles sweetly, making a great show of flashing my fangs... just in case you missed them*

I guess I should start by explaining the two different classifications of vampires, for those who are not in the know. According to Weirdly’s Dictionary of the Supernatural, vampires are classified as follows:

Yo’ Mama: (YM)  Characterized by a hideous appearance, an appalling lack of hygiene, slow wit, inability to recognize snark when it nibbles on their neck and a preference for Crocs footwear. Formerly known as the “Ewww Gross.” (see photo below)

A rare classification, accounting for only about 10% of the vampire population.

Really Cute: (RC)  Easily recognized by the distinctive traits of good looks, stunning ability to execute a hair toss, sparkling sense of humor, overabundance of snark and excellent taste in shoes. (see photo below)

The most common classification, accounting for approximately 90% of the vampire population. 

As you might have noticed... *executes perfect hair flip and points to stunning self-portrait above... the cute one* I’m of the “Really Cute” vamp variety. *looks around for any YM vamps, then whispers* The “yo’ mamas” were named many years ago... no one knows exactly how many... by a teenage boy who witnessed a word war between a RC and a then called “Ewww Gross” vamp. He named them YM because they are so ugly only their mamas could love them. Many of the world’s most beautiful people are actually RC vamps... Brad Pitt? Yep. Olivia Wilde? You know it! Tom Cruise? Hell no! That urban legend was debunked years ago! *flips hair, annoyed by the continued rumor*

Looks aside, vamps have gotten a reputation for being blood thirsty killers. *rolls eyes* This is completely untrue. We don’t bite... much. Just a nibble here and there. And nobody ever complains! I mean, really... *smiling brightly* …would you complain if the donation of a pint of blood meant you could achieve *pauses, considers PG wording* ecstasy? After all, the rumor that vampire bites are orgasmic? *leans forward, looking deeply into your eyes* Totally. Completely. True.

Um... *checks manicure, avoiding eye contact* The rumor that vampires make bad boyfriends? Also totally untrue. I mean, isn’t it every girls dream to have a boyfriend that is only around at night... when she’s sleeping and unable to spend time with him? A boyfriend that’s a total loner, never wanting to interact with anyone else? A boyfriend who never ages, and will notice every line and gray hair you ever get? *nods* Oh, yeah!!! Vamps are total catches!

And the whole mind control thing? *laughs brightly, waving this away* As if! I mean, just because you suddenly sign over your new car to a vampire doesn’t mean they’ve influenced you! It just means you were so struck by their beauty you wanted to give them something to show your appreciation.

Mood swings? *looks into your eyes deeply, putting a little UMPH into it, hoping you don’t notice the pattern* Really, doesn’t everyone suffer bad days? Haven’t you ever had a night where your dinner ran and struggled and you broke a nail catching them? Didn’t that torque you off? And didn’t you throw your boyfriend’s new car through the window of his house just to relieve some stress?

So, as you can see... vampires are no threat at all. While we are the undisputed champs of the supernatural world, there is absolutely nothing for humans to be worried about. Truly, we only want to be your BFFs. *smiling again, fangs elongating, feeling slightly peckish* Let’s hug on it.

Thanks, Louise!  Well, there you have it.  The gauntlet has been thrown and things are heating up around here.  Do you have a favorite, yet?  Remember, poll day is only 3 days away, so if you want to let your voice be heard, be there or be square.  It only lasts 24 hours and, then, it will disappear like a ghost into the mist.  We'll see you there!

Bump in the Night Brawl #3: Witches

Welcome to the continuation of Witchy Wednesday at Starting the Next Chapter. Today I have a very special guest post to share with you all. My oldest friend and number one book buddy Nikki from Books Most Wanted agreed to tackle the Bump in the Night Brawl with her thought-provoking take on witches. Come on in and make yourselves comfortable!

Ahhhhhhh………Hello, my pretties……..

So, you’ve come to see what’s so great, or maybe not so great, about witches, right? Well, my friends, I have always been on the fence about witches. Growing up, I both read and watched stories that had either a good or bad witch in them. It’s no wonder many children I know have the same conflicts with them as I do. It is this uncertainty that makes them truly scary, to be feared…and loved.

I’ll start off with the first film that comes to mind when I think of good vs. evil witches. The Wizard of Oz has a special place in my heart. It was always one of my favorites growing up and contains two of the most recognized witches in entertainment:

Glinda, the Good Witch of the North (not South, as it was depicted in the book),

and

Elphaba, the Wicked Witch of the West.

The story revolves around the two characters interchangeably. It may not be the main story line, but it affects every aspect of all the rest. In this, the rivalry began between the forces of good and evil.

HOWEVER….

Some years later, in 1995 a little book called Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West changed my view on this. This book made me realize that there may be another side to the story. I’ve heard that It was actually here that the WWotW got her name, Elphaba, by author Gregory Maguire. The name is a “play on name” for the author of The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, Lyman Frank Baum (from his initials being sounded out: L-F-B).The book mesmerizes me to this day, but nothing compares to the Broadway Musical based on the book. Unfortunately, I’ve not gotten to see all of it, but for now I can make do with clips and soundtracks. The songs have so much meaning behind them, not only to the characters, but also the audience watching their interactions.

Here’s a clip from Wicked at the 2004 Tony Awards with my favorite witches, Idina Menzel and Kristen Chenoweth: http://youtu.be/ejGLmx7ZH0c

or on stage: http://youtu.be/Y2wAyC1LPqI

Sadly, the show (minus Idina and Kristen, of course) is in Nashville now and nosebleed seats are close to $200 apiece. Doesn’t go well with a grad school budget. ::weeps::

So, no, I do not have the conventional frame of mind when it comes to witches. They are simply some of the most magical and versatile people in my fantasyland. In one story you may read them as being very elemental and supernatural witches, such as Victoria Schwab’s The Near Witch, and in another they may be quite horrible, like in the classic Hansel & Gretel story.

Yet, there are witches that we can humanly identify with. These witches are an iconic part of pop culture and have made their way as a staple on bookshelves and in theaters alike.

Yep, you are right. One of the most popular witches of our generation is Ms. Hermione Granger. This is one of my favorite scenes from the movie series. I’m sure many of us can watch and read this series and think “Yeah, been there done that” with a lot of the teenage situations. Many conceptions that kids have now are being based on these from popular books instead of the horror stories of the past. Books abound for these wicked ladies. Young adult authors have embraced them and put their own spin on the concepts.

Now that I have explained my perspective on witches, I don’t expect you to see it the same way. That’s the beauty of these stories; they all mean something different to everyone. I do want you to remember something, though. You know the saying, “Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.”? I think it applies to witches very well. They can be your best friends, or your worst enemies. You may not even know if they are your family or a neighbor down the street. Witches can be the masters of the unknown. That, friends, scares me more than blood, guts, and gore ever could.

Thanks, Nikki! If you haven't yet, stop by Books Most Wanted and check it out. Though she is very busy with graduate school, Nikki still finds time to post some awesome reviews. For all of you on Team Witch, we'll see you at the polls!

Creature Feature Review: Witchlanders

It's Witchy Wednesday at Starting the Next Chapter, meaning that today is all about witches. To start things off, I have a witch-centered book review for you all, Witchlanders by Lena Coakley. Granted, witches aren't creatures per say, BUT they do play a huge role in the supernatural figures most often thought of during Halloween. I hope you will all join me later today to welcome Nikki from Books Most Wanted, who will be dropping by to speak up in favor of witches for the Bump in the Night Brawl.

Witchlanders

by Lena Coakley
publisher: Atheneum
date of publication: August 30, 2011
format: hardcover
pages: 400
source: purchased
Amazon / Goodreads / B&N

From Goodreads:

High in their mountain covens, red witches pray to the Goddess, protecting the Witchlands by throwing the bones and foretelling the future.

It’s all a fake.

At least, that’s what Ryder thinks. He doubts the witches really deserve their tithes—one quarter of all the crops his village can produce. And even if they can predict the future, what danger is there to foretell, now that his people’s old enemy, the Baen, has been defeated?

But when a terrifying new magic threatens both his village and the coven, Ryder must confront the beautiful and silent witch who holds all the secrets. Everything he’s ever believed about witches, the Baen, magic and about himself will change, when he discovers that the prophecies he’s always scorned—

Are about him.

What I Thought

Prior to reading it for myself, I had heard great things about Witchlanders. When I commenced my adventure with Ryder and Falpian, I was concerned that I was going to have a difficult time in enjoying it, myself. However, as things progressed I began to see what others were talking about and soon grew more and more immersed in the fascinating world that Lena Coakley constructed in this book. Though heavy on the details, Witchlanders is written in such a way that makes you feel as though you share knowledge right along with the main characters. As you realize just how much of a foundation the initial information at the beginning of the book created, it becomes much easier to understand its purpose. What results is a tantalizing, mystical world where nothing is quite what it seems.

At first, I wasn't sure exactly where the plot was going to go. It begins with the detailing of Ryder's immense frustrations with his life and with Falpian's low self-esteem and lack of confidence. It wasn't until more information was garnered with regard to the great war between the Witchlanders and the Baens that I began to unravel the line the plot was taking. At that point, I was caught up in a whirlwind of intrigue, danger, and fear. The descriptions of the magic that swirls throughout this book are almost lyrical, which is very fitting due to how it is performed. As Ryder and Falpian get to know each other better and begin working together, more is revealed that left me astounded and truly speechless. Ms. Coakley certainly knows her way around a plot twist!

Ryder was a bit difficult to get to know as a character, at first. He came off as a very conflicted person, as well as a reserved and bitter one. This made him a little difficult to connect with, but once he began to come out of his shell and began to realize some things, he became much more easy to relate to. As for Falpian, he seemed to be a somewhat weak character, at first. He seemed to be all bark and no bite when he first encountered Ryder. As he began to realize the true depth of his own power and his budding friendship with Ryder, he became a much more dynamic character, one which I preferred most out of the two.

The setting for Witchlanders is one of the most intriguing parts of this book. The forests and the mountain seemed to be very breath-taking, and the network of caves that the witches utilize is mysterious, eerie, and awe-inspiring. It seemed that every turn uncovered something new for Ryder and Falpian to discover, which I absolutely loved.

Witchlanders is a wonderfully imaginative story with elements of high fantasy and an epic adventure. Though it doesn't seem to have been announced yet, the end is left wide open for a sequel or even a series. If so, I look forward to reading more by Ms. Coakley in the future. This is a great book for fans of fantasy fiction to try out, as well as for those who enjoy stories surrounding witches and magic. Kudos to Ms. Coakley!

Bump in the Night Brawl #2: Zombies

It's day 2 of Starting the Next Chapter's Bump in the Night Brawl and it is Undead Tuesday, which means that a post about zombies is in order. Today, Kyla from Kyla Novelista has been gracious enough to educate us about zombies. She has some interesting and useful information, so I hope you all will join me in welcoming her to Starting the Next Chapter!

I have been asked to represent my people during this visit to Starting the Next Chapter. And I should warn you, not all zombies are as pretty as me. There are different types. Stages, if you will. I was never buried and therefore technically, not raised. Those are the really butt-ugly ones, but don't tell them I said that. There's a little inequality among us in that regard. Touchy subject. Anyhow, I really don't look that different from you. Well, I mean I'm prettier, but that's a given. Just a few minor disagreements with a knife that are visible on me. No worries. They've come out with a cream for that.

Now a lot of you mundanes have speculated about us zombies, and, quite frankly, I'm a little disappointed about the rep we've gained. Mindless machines? Please. We're way worse than that. Sure we've been reanimated, but as long as no one nibbles on my brain…I have full say over what I do. And to whom I do it. *wink wink*

Why is this worse? It's not obvious? Good goddess you're slow. If someone were controlling all the zombies and directing them…like a puppeteer, then you'd have to come under scrutiny of that particular person. However, with all zombies controlling themselves? You've got to be much more careful. Piss me off and I'm likely to chomp on your neck. What? I like the neck.

So, as I was saying. Zombies? Totally the worst thing out there. I mean, sure it's freaky to have a vamp clamped to your neck, but damn, ever had an arm just clawing it's way to you? Minus the body? When we're reanimated, we get certain gifts from our Voodoo queen. For instance, the ability to control our body. All of it. Even if it's not all attached. Add to that the fact that it could be your dear Auntie Em's arm and total traumatizing will commence. For reals.

You can hit us, run us over, insult us, yell profanity…none of that will matter. We have only one way we can actually be dead. I mean dead-dead, not like walking-around-eating-people-dead. You can't kill us from fifty feet away. Nope. You can shoot silver bullets at werewolves from a safe distance away, lob stakes at vamps from the safety of your hidey hole, but you've gotta get up close and personal to kill one of us. Plus, you'll really need a strong stomach, because you're gonna have to separate the zombie's head from his/her body. And, depending on the stage of decay the zombie is in…it can be quite difficult to accomplish. I'm like a zombie ninja, well, zombie ninja cheerleader, and rate of decay over here is slow goin's. I'd definitely not recommend trying that out on me!

Now, there are all kids of crazy things that thrive on mundane ignorance. But alas, you're all just a little too ignorant for me. So, allow me to help you prepare against the fiercest, scariest of those bumps in the night.

When zombies attack your town:

Step 1: Be sure to surround yourself with people, preferably people that you don't like. Keep in mind that this is only the first line of defense. You don't want to be the only option on the menu, do you? No, of course not. These are not sensual vamps we're talking about.

Reminder: Zombie bite =/= orgasmic

Step 2: Slather yourself with butter and encourage all those around you to do the same. This is in no way related to our desire to…uh, nibble on you.

Step 3: Now, you wait. Wait. Wait. You wait until we find you. You should, under no circumstances attempt to track us down. We don't like our dinner delivered. That is, we are not easy to track. Yes, not easy to track.

Step 4: When we find you, scream “Run!” at the top of your voice. As you and your comrades flee for your life, trip the closest person to you. This is where you'll be glad you kept company with people you don't like. This should, in no way, be seen as an act of vengeance, but rather as the best line of defense. Strategic planning, if you will.

Now, if you happen to be caught in the grips of a zombie we'll, uh, you'll be glad you slathered yourself with butter. Because….well, because then you can just wiggle a little. Yeah. Wiggle and you'll slip right out of our grip. Sure.

You should also avoid the following:

1. Do not attempt to shoot at us.

Not recommended

Bullets will do nothing to us except mar our body and make us look more gruesome. I'm gonna be mighty ticked off if you shoot up my face before the big Friday night football game. Which brings me to number 2.

2. Do not tick off a zombie…especially a zombabe, like me.

3. Do not try to light us on fire. I mean seriously, we're DEAD. Like fire is really going to do much. Can't feel it people. Be more creative. Besides…that's just gonna add some seriously stinky fumes to your already polluted planet.

4. Do not attempt to flee in your vehicle. During zombie attacks or, for crying out loud, the zombie apocalypse, you'll never get anywhere! No…fleeing on foot, in crowds, that's the most practical way.

5. Do not attempt to track down the Voodoo queen who raised us. Dude, she raised ZOMBIES for crying out loud! You think your teeny mundane self can do anything to her? Good zombie goddess you're not going to last five minutes!

Come to think of it…the only sure way to survive when zombies are around is to place a sign in the window of your house. Or have a T-shirt made. Tattoo? I make it a policy not to snack on my Twitter followers, but outside of Twitterland it's hard to tell who is zombie friendly.

Do yourself a favor: vote Zombies on October 30^th and proudly display this sign and avoid the fallout from zombies all together.

I would like to thank Marla @ Starting the Next Chapter for having me here today to educate you wonderful people on the realities of zombies. Apologies to you who may have felt a nibble or two while you were here…she did say the event was catered and, well, I took that literally. Please, do yourself one last favor…follow me on twitter to avoid becoming a full on dinner entre @kyla_holt.

psst…if you vote zombies, wear an I Voted For Zombies sticker and I will avoid you during dinner.

Thanks, Kyla! It was great having you on Starting the Next Chapter today. So, folks, what do you think? Did you learn anything new? If not, Kyla has provided a handy flyer to aid you in remembering what to do in the event of a zombie uprising.

Click for full size

Creature Feature Review: Rot & Ruin

It's Undead Tuesday here on Starting the Next Chapter, so it's time for a zombified book review! I have selected Rot & Ruin by Jonathan Maberry for today's Creature Feature Review. Later today, Kyla from Kyla Novelista will be stopping by to share some important information with you all, so I hope you'll heed what she has to say!

Rot & Ruin

by Jonathan Maberry
publisher: Simon & Schuster
date of publication: October 5, 2010
format: hardcover
pages: 458
source: purchased
Amazon / Goodreads / B&N

From Goodreads:

In the zombie-infested, post-apocalyptic America where Benny Imura lives, every teenager must find a job by the time they turn fifteen or get their rations cut in half. Benny doesn't want to apprentice as a zombie hunter with his boring older brother Tom, but he has no choice. He expects a tedious job whacking zoms for cash, but what he gets is a vocation that will teach him what it means to be human.

What I Thought

Rot & Ruin turned out to be a much different zombie novel than I had originally anticipated. Don't get me wrong, there are scads of horrifying zombies in this book, as well as a lot of dangerous situations for Benny to get through. However, there is also a distinct lesson to be learned. This message was pleasantly surprising and gave me a lot to think about as I read this eerily intriguing book.

The plot that runs throughout Rot & Ruin is one filled with several elements, including survival, forgiveness, and the question of just what it is that makes us human. While some truly horrifying things happen in this novel, there is also an element of hope that can be garnered if one pays close enough attention. I found that I appreciated this added touch and the way it was orchestrated. It made for such a thought-provoking zombie story that I was taken very much by surprise.

At first, I was put off by Benny as a character. He is such an angry character at first, and I sensed that his anger was misplaced. However, as the story progressed, he began to take on a great deal of depth that transformed him from an angry, oblivious teenager to a compassionate, loyal young man. His older brother, Tom, is definitely one of my favorite characters in this story. He is amazingly patient with Benny and holds a great deal of sympathy for both zombies and their living families. I was very surprised at that particular character trait and became more intrigued the more I learned. As for the villains, I was very surprised and appalled. They are not who you might think and their heinous actions are completely despicable. You will find yourself becoming very invested in justice when it comes to these characters, which definitely aids in drawing a reader into the story.

The setting in which Rot & Ruin takes place is perfection. The world post-apocalypse is a bleak one and the remaining people are left trying to survive it. The landscape is both ominous and eerie. Never has a forest seemed so frightening. Each time Benny and Tom made their way into the Rot & Ruin, I felt very concerned about what was going to happen. The descriptions of the land made for a definite sense of foreboding and spine-tingling fright.

I was very much impressed with Rot & Ruin and immediately picked up the second novel, Dust & Decay. I had to work a little harder to get into it, at first, but I soon found myself immersed in Benny's story and became invested in what happened to the characters. If you're looking for a zombie-centered story with something to think about, you will likely enjoy Rot & Ruin. I know I did.

Bump in the Night Brawl #1: Ghosts

It's Haunted Monday and that means that it's time to get this party started! Today I, myself, will be telling you all about my favorite thing that goes bump in the night. That's right, ladies and gents, I am here to talk about ghosts.   They hover invisibly where you least suspect them.  Some can launch object across the room, perhaps even at unsuspecting standers by.  They whisper chilling words and phrases in tones just low enough to have you questioning whether you heard anything at all.  It is said that some are dangerous.  How can any other entities compare?

If you ask me, the phrase "bump in the night" was tailor made for ghosts. When you think ghosts you may also think haunted houses.  There are certainly a lot of bumps and creaks in one of those.  There's just something about a dark, creepy house that really gets your imagination and heart rate pumping.  It would be difficult not to look at something like the house below and think, "I'll bet that house has some ghosts in residence."

Not my idea of a vacation home.

 What's scarier than something lurking about that you can't even see but yet know it's there? We're not talking sheet-shrouded Caspers here. No, we're talking about the whispering, pick-things-up-and-throw-them variety. I know I wouldn't want to be locked inside a haunted house. No, thank you.   How would you like to wake up and find something like this hovering next to your bed?  No?  I didn't think so.

Now THIS is what I'm talking about!

I grew up with a healthy respect for ghosts thanks to the many ghost stories told in my hometown. My family is full of them and my aunt told me some of the very best stories I've ever heard. There's even a festival dedicated to ghost stories every year! I've done an extensive folklore paper on the subject. I've done my research many times over! That's just how fascinated I am by the subject.  Stories of ghostly stage coaches that return to the same stretch of abandoned road year after year to frighten away those who would cause mischief are but some of the stories I was surrounded by in my youth.  We take our stories seriously, and with good reason.  When there's a village just down the highway that is the site of many hauntings, you're bound to hear some chilling stories.

Growing up near places like this guarantee that you hear good stories.

Speaking of stories, why don't we talk books for a moment? I just reviewed Anna Dressed in Blood. Now that is a ghost that puts all others to shame. With an example such as Anna to contend with, how can any other supernatural being compete? Have you read the descriptions of Anna?  Now that's some scary stuff!

 Anna is descending upon me, coming down the stairs without taking any strides.  Her feet drag horribly along like she can't use them at all.  Dark, purplish veins cut through her pale white skin.  Her hair is shadow-less black, and it moves through the air as though suspended in water, snaking out behind and drifting like reeds.  It's the only thing about her that looks alive.

She doesn't wear her death wounds like other ghosts do.  They say her throat was cut, and this girl's throat is long and white.  But there is the dress.  It's wet, and red, and constantly moving.  It drips onto the ground.  [...]  I can't take my eyes off her eyes.  They're like oil drops.  It's impossible to tell where she's looking, but I'm not foolish enough to hope that she can't or hasn't seen me.       -from page 76 of Anna Dressed in Blood by Kendare Blake

An experienced ghost hunter such as Cas Lowood got his butt handed to him by Anna. Now that is some serious haunting. Just the thought that a ghost like this may be out there somewhere is totally chilling.  My spine tingles just thinking about it. 

This one is in the bag, folks.   Look no further, for ghosts are the be-all, end-all of things that go bump in the night.  Don't you think an entity like Anna should win the day?  You'll be hard-pressed to find a more intimidating adversary.  All others need not apply.  We'll see you at the polls!