Guest Post:A Most Frightening Discovery, or Scather's Encounter With NASCAR Harlequin

Last month I had the privilege of meeting a fellow book blogger possessed of a sharp wit and well-honed powers of observation. Scather at Scathing Weekly prides herself upon giving an unbiased opinion on a wide range of books and holding nothing back. She has kindly agreed to provide the use of her post on the unlikely genre of NASCAR romance novels as a guest post for Starting the Next Chapter this week.

Living in the southeastern United States, I have encountered an inordinate number of NASCAR fans, the popularity of which I have yet to understand. Upon perusing Goodreads, I discovered that there are no less than thirty-nine NASCAR Harlequin titles. Who knew? When I read Scather's take on the racing-inspired romance novels (which have inexplicably made it all the way to Australia!), I laughed until I nearly cried. I hope you will enjoy her post as much as I did.

Start Your Engines, It's The NASCAR Library!

Is anyone else gagging after reading that title?

After acquiring my first ereader, I was on the hunt for free ebooks. As it so happened, at the time, eHarelquin Press had an abundance of free books out, and were dominating the Kobo store to the extent that, for me at least, it became practically unusuable.

It was at this time that I stumbled across one of the most brain-numbingly insane but apparently (and shockingly) successful cross-overs of all time: Harlequin NASCAR.

You read that correctly. Set your eyes above again, cast them over the individual words, recognize the seperate letters. Harlequin NASCAR.

Harlequin, for those fortunate enough to have never set eyes on this trash, is a leading publisher of romance titles. (Otherwise known as typed-out smut with transparent oceanic swelling themes and copious amounts of thrusting). And NASCAR or the National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing (I just had to Google that. I don't even know what a stock car is. Presumably not one powered by livestock. Oh I see, I just asked Professor Wikipedia, and it seems to mean unmodified. Although NASCAR cars apparently are modified, which leads me to wonder why they even bother.)

And the unholy union that these two have formed is a series of books with titles such as "Crossing the Line", "Racing Hearts", and "Slow Burn".

When I shared the press release announcing this series with a friend from the US on the train, he was suitably ashamed, and much guffawing ensued. (Partly fuelled by a much more palatable offering from the US - Tootsie Pops).

I promptly forgot about this chimera until I was in Borders a couple of weeks ago and stumbled across "A NASCAR Holiday" - a trilogy omnibus of books approximately the thickness of a single standard novel.

Originally $16.99, "A NASCAR Holiday" was reduced to the bargain basement price of $3.00 - presumably because it had been torn and soiled by an overzealous reader. This was still not enough of a reduction in price for me to consider buying it, so my overview is based on a quick flick through in-store.

The three stories are:
"Ladies, Start Your Engines..." (doesn't that dot dot dot just get you going?) by Kimberly Raye
"'Tis the Silly Season" by Roxanne St. Claire, and
"Unbreakable" by Debra Webb.
Each is about 100 pages long.

And here are some choice lines:

"There were men. And then there were men."

"He wore faded brown cowboy boots and a snug pair of worn jeans. The denim cupped his tight tush and molded to his muscular legs. A frayed rip near the middle of one thigh played peakaboo with her as he leaned down, giving her a mouthwatering glimpse of tanned, hair-dusted skin."

(Doesn't this sound like she's going to spit-roast his leg? And seriously, "hair-dusted" skin!? Do you get a great big shaker of hair like icing sugar and just dust it over the skin?)

"too-cool-for-a-haircut, too-hip-for-a-shave, too-sexy-for-his-own-good"

(too-many-hyphens)

"Some folks swore that racing fuel ran through his veins. He lived and breathed the sport. Case in point - he'd be hitting forty in a couple of months and was still single."

(So single people are single because their veins are filled with fuel???)

"The main thrust of the study will be on you"

(Oh, you just HAD to use that word, didn't you?!)

or what about this excerpt?

"When you two are done male bashing, I'll take a glass of chocolate milk."

Chocolate milk? So he had maturity issues as well as commitment problems.

(Who knew a simple choice in beverage could reveal so much?)